#why did bdubs say he would kill and die for etho

[peskyvinot]

it's still so funny to me that I came into hermitcraft with no shipping intentions, left the phase of shipping cubitos in the past I thought. will touch the fanficion only for my cartoons I thought. and then I became friends with an ethubs enjoyer and vibed with it (very much). and then I joined hermitblr.

and I STILL wasn't shipping anyone.

and then there's this whole thing happened where I do enjoy xbralis platonically but. I'm just watxhing them flirt and what am I supposed to do about it. they literally kissed with their cube little heads what I'm. huh.

and then secret life happened and the line is not thin anymore its non existant. I'm literally scrolling through the ethubs tag every day. I'm like this 👌 close to actually opening ao3, and not to reread my favorit ex&x family fics but to see what's cooking in the ethubs tag. (minecraft achievement font) how did we get here

[jellieland]

This is somewhat inspired by some of the fics @theminecraftbee has written.

---

Two figures watch, from a nebulous nowhere, as Scar stands, alone, in the remains of his destroyed shop.

"I'm sorry," he says, mournfully, to no one.

"You Know," says the first figure, "I Really Wasn't Convinced When You Pitched This One."

Scar does not react. He cannot hear them.

"Yes," says the second, with an air of long-suffering patience. "I Do Know. You Were Very Vocal About It."

"...I really wanted to try and make some friends, this time." Scar, simultaneously right in front of them and a great distance away, sighs and looks up at the sky. "Oh, well. Nothing to be done about it now!"

"I Have Come Around To It," says the first.

"Good," says the second. "I Knew You Would."

They watch Scar start to sort through the mess.

"They Forget They Have A Choice," says the first. "It Is Fascinating."

They move on.

The move on to ash.

Skizz and Tango and Bigb stand right in the thick of it, quiet.

"You try to do one nice thing," says Skizz.

His hands curl into fists. He glares at the smoldering remains of the heart in front of him.

"You try to do ONE nice thing!" he yells, and punches one of the last remaining bits of wood.

Brittle from the fire, it breaks.

"Yeah, well! I guess this is why we don't," says Tango, resigned.

"It was always gonna happen eventually," says Bigb, voice level.

"They Always Try," says the first. "They Always Keep Trying."

"Yes," says the second. "They Chase Each Other In Circles Until All Of Them Are Dead. They Give Themselves Their Own Tasks."

"That Is Not What I Meant," says the first. "But That Is Also True."

They watch the three members of the Heart Foundation stand, for a while, in silence.

And they move on.

They move over to the mesa.

Martyn is standing inside his house, that used to be Jimmy's house too, facing the three chests on the wall labelled "TIMMY", "MUMBO" and "MARTYN".

He is talking animatedly, and gesturing. "-and I kept trying to get them to follow me there, but nobody was taking the bait. Honestly, you guys would've laughed at me. But it-"

They let the rambling fade into the background.

"A Good Dog," says the first.

"Yes," says the second. "He Does As He Is Told."

"-and I've honestly been feeling a bit left out today, isn't that funny? But- Bdubs said, he said he would join me next week, so-"

They move on.

They move to the cobblestone castle, in the side of the hill.

Grian is cooing over a small magma cube named Etho's Dishwasher.

Cleo and Etho are leaning against the staircase watching him.

"Are you both alright?" asks Cleo.

"Sure, I'm fine," says Etho.

"Me?" says Grian, turning around. "Oh, I'm good, I was being a total coward. I just hung around at the top of that tower by the Secret Keeper for ages and none of them ever thought to look up."

"Really?" asks Cleo, amused. "Some of them I would expect that of, but I'd think Gem would be a bit more on the ball."

"Well, apparently not," says Grian.

He turns back to the magma cube, and they settle into quiet.

"I Would Have Expected More Of The Alliances To Have Fallen Apart, By Now," says the first.

"Loyalty Is At Its Most Interesting When It Is Stretched," says the second. "These Three Know It Will Never Last. They Know That All Of Them Are Aware Of This. That Is Why They Are Still Here. They Know How Much They Can Care Without It Being A Lie. And Then Privately, They Care More Than That Anyway."

Eventually, Etho sighs. He looks tired.

He glances from Cleo, to Grian, and back, and after a moment of hesitation, speaks. "I, uh. I'm glad you two survived." He shifts awkwardly, and continues before they can respond. "I thought they were going to try and make me kill you, at one point, and- Grian, I don't know if you know this, but Cleo is scary when she's getting revenge. I did not want to have to worry about that."

Cleo laughs, slightly, and gives Etho a look of the deepest affection. "Well, I did die, is the thing, so thanks for reminding me of that."

"No, no, you knew what I meant! See, Grian? See what it's like?"

"Uh huh," says Grian, raising an eyebrow. "Well, thanks for not killing us."

Cleo frowns at him, suddenly curious. "Grian?" they ask. "Are you the only one who didn't die today?"

Grian opens his mouth, then stops to consider it.

"Or- no, wait. Martyn." says Cleo. "Well. Well done either way."

They watch the trio for a little longer, and then they move on.

They move to Scott.

He is alone, in a forest somewhere.

He is leant up against a cliff face, staring down at the floor.

"None Of Them Even Died, This Time," says the first. "Not Permanently."

"No," says the second. "It Was Controlled. Directed. There To Even The Playing Field. We Can Just Ask Them To Do That, Now, And They Will."

Scott draws his knees up to his chest, and rests his head on his arms.

He doesn't move, or shout, or cry.

He just stays there, quiet.

Eventually, they move on.

They move to the Secret Keeper.

Gem is standing there.

She is looking at it.

"If She Had Decided To Fail At The Start," says the first, "She Most Likely Would Have Lived. She Lost So Much More, Taking Things From Other People, Than The Nothing She Would Have Lost In Failure."

"Yes," says the second. "That Is My Favourite Part."

They watch her.

"Anyway," says the second, "She Would Not Do That."

"She Wouldn't?" asks the first.

"No," says the second. "She Understands Why It Is My Favourite Part."

Gem smiles.

"Thank you!" she says to the Secret Keeper. "That was a lot of fun!"

"You Are Welcome," says the second.

Blood on her hands, Gem turns and leaves, grin as bright as the sun.

They watch her go.

[lillypad-monopoly]

Wild Life Episode 3 Thoughts

Sorry I don't have very good commentary this week. I was really busy and then life happened so I watched these POVs over the course of 6 days and didn't always take live notes.

The snail gimmick is iconic! Another amazing wildcard and a good Grian reference as well as being memey!

Someone joked about them being soulbound to the snails and I'm praying for the return of a soulbond Wildcard so hard right now

I'm genuinely concerned Skizz and Jimmy won't make it to episode 5. I hope we get some more passive wildcards coming up or this is going to be a pretty short series (also I would like them to get some stuff done)

Grian freezing the game is the lore event ever. Watcher powers are real but also he's clearly fighting back against their agenda more this season (once again such angst potential here RE: Grian knowing the wildcards ahead of time)

Ren digging all those holes looking for their horse is literally the definition of insanity and it's hilarious

Martyn and Etho interacting is always interesting both because the anime skin boys are hanging out together and because they have literally opposite playstyles. Martyn is crazy reckless and Etho is soo careful.

WHY DO REN AND MARTYN HAVE A DOUBLE BED

I really want to know all the snail names, since not everybody died this ep

I love that we're kind of going back to "suggestions" again, what with Tango killing Skizz and Martyn making snails invisible just for kicks. It feels like 3L and it's so fun.

I was so excited for Bdubs angst hour only for him to change his mind and not feel bad about anything after all

Etho's monologue 😂. The reason the go for you early is because they see you as a threat, not because they think you're not tough OMG.

Etho don't die to a creeper in the life series challenge impossible

Watching PICS build a base was actually so refreshing. I love the snail gimmick very much but it was nice to watch a POV where they were actually doing some classic life series stuff

Scott predicting violence for the next ep is...concerning lol. I don't know what he's seeing that I'm not, but outside of wild card stuff it doesn't really feel like we're at that point just yet

Actually I wouldn't put it past Tango to go wild. I'm just not sure the other Tuff Guys will follow him

I will be quoting "He's coming and he has only violence in his heart" from now on thank you Scott

Joel saying they have no enemies is so funny. The reason you don't have any enemies is cause everyone is too scared to cross you 😂.

Gem being excited about her snail while everyone else panics is iconic I love her

Joel giving Skizz a PVP lesson is so funny because Skizz *can* PVP from what I recall (I haven't seen a lot of Skizz so I could be wrong here)

Jimmy blowing up the car in front of Joel, Gem and Etho is the definition of "history doesn't repeat itself, it rhymes"

Lizzie I love you but you need to turn down something on your texture pack because everything is so bright

Bdubs manufacturing Tuff Guy behavior killed me. All of the Tuff Guys are such wet cats I love them <3

I've never watched Empires, but the bit where Jimmy gets blown up by a creeper has such powerful older sister/younger brother energy that I think I might have to headcanon them as siblings now

Scar and Lizzie being in the caves for the introduction of the snails and trying to figure out what's going on feels like a horror movie premise. People mysteriously dying to snail related stuff, and then a mob that's not in the game shows up and looks similar to the other person you're with and is following you around...

Team Bam/The Bamboozlers are as chaotic and struggling as hard as I expected. I don't actually want Lizzie to loose her teammates because I want everybody in until the last session, but it would be really funny if she did.

[wisepuma23]

Knives and forks clink against the dinner plates, metal scraping and laughter, their base drips with water from above. Drip, drip, drip. Impulse watches. It seeps into the center of the table, a growing patch on the wooden grain. Right between the steaks and loaves of warm bread. Nobody pays it any mind. Drip, drip.

(…Nobody but him.)

Etho says something he doesn’t catch, a bark of laughter from Tango. Beads of water splash onto the surrounding food.

Impulse’s hold on his fork goes tight. 

He needs to fix that. 

“Impulse buddy, you with us?” Skizz shakes his arm, “You agree Scar’s acting weird right?”

“Yeah yeah,” Impulse answers on auto-pilot, “I heard rumors he’s been trying to get kills. Yellow Scar, man.”

Tango cackles and the conversation cycles on. Impulse steels his jaw, he can’t zone out again. Keep pretending, he reminds himself. It wouldn’t be good to stab his teammates at the dinner table. He’d have to clean the table out. Maybe pull out the entrails from the cracks in the grain of wood.

(Drip, drip.) 

No, focus. 

Focus.

(A faint, metallic scent permeates his senses– gone in a moment.) 

Impulse bites into a piece of steak. Buttery juice slides over his tongue and between his teeth. The taste of blood makes his grip on the fork creak. For what feels like the first time in millenia, his glamor itches at his skin. The careful control over his form twitches and squirms like a coiled snake poised to strike. 

Show them what you really are, hums in his mind. The dripping echoes like a wardrum. Show them your true face.

 Impulse licks at his lips, “You did a nice job, Tango. It’s delicious!” 

“Aww!” Tango coos, his flames crackling a soft orange-red, “Etho lent me some seasoning but he won’t tell me where he got the happy happy sauce.” 

Impulse takes another bite, canines digging into flesh and bone, and the rip is loud. Or is it loud for him? Again, infernal magic bubbles at the back of his throat. He swallows, appraising the flavor. It doesn’t drown out the sickly sulfur like he hoped. 

“Bdubs?” Impulse guesses with a tease.

“Oh come on,” Etho groans, “Ah I guess that was way too easy.”

“He married me too, remember?” Impulse laughs at Etho’s expression, “Can’t blame me for forgetting the best meals I’ve ever had! Bet he’s feeding his family around now.” 

Etho waves him off as they cackle at the blush rushing up past the mask. Impulse cuts another piece off the bone. Rip, snrk, clink. Idly, he wonders if human skin still made the same noise. 

The clink of metal against the plates, the dull pounding of water. The snap-crackle of Tango’s fire. Buttery-sweet blood coats his tongue.

He remembers the musky smell of Etho's burning hair and flesh, his screams turned into bloody gurgles as he flailed in lava in the first game. Just minutes before everything ended. 

Impulse tears off a chunk of meat.

(Snrrk, clink.)

People die in so many ways. It’s why he loves the variety poison provides— stomachs twisting and lungs seizing— and yet he wonders if anybody’s tried skinning someone, if the server would even allow it.

Impulse swallows a dark laugh, is vivisection on the table? His glamor shivers.

Metal catches the light, the smooth shimmer taking him back. To sharp arrowheads and snapping magma, to a castle reaching into the sky.

He remembers a golden clock.

(Rip, snrk, clink.) 

Impulse remembers the way Bdubs’ flesh bubbled and blistered from the Wither. The way his Red bloodlust sang at the way his corpse crumpled to the ground. Bdubs’ skin growing dark, mottled with blackened streaks and bruised from the Withering and regular battle. 

The worst of it healed over, scars stitched into flesh. But he’d be a liar if he said he didn’t revel in it, the stained canvas left on Bdubs’ face and arms. 

He kissed that face. Peppering them along wither-cracked ribs and arms, tracing every dark and poisoned line with a smile. I’m sorry, he had said. I’m sorry.

He meant it. (Yes, really.)

Impulse hadn’t meant to curse Bdubs with chronic pain and scars, especially since he had to feel the echoes of it through the soulmate bond. He loved Bdubs. Loved him since the beginning.

And he remembers the rip-schk! of the ax in his back. 

The way his blood pooled on the grass as everything went dark.

The phantom feeling of Pearl’s wolves tearing flesh from bone in long strips and bites. Riiiip-snrk-crunch.

Blood dripping from between their teeth.

(Drip, drip.)

Impulse stabs his fork a little harder into the next cut, picturing a handsome face with a cute and crooked grin. Damn him. He glares down at his plate. No, focus. Pretend, he tells himself, you’re good at that, aren’t you?

There’s a hand over his, warmer than it should be. He looks up.

Tango has cocked an eyebrow up with a cute little nose crinkle, “You in?”

Impulse blinks, the words registering in his head.

“Yeah, sure,” He grins, “A walk sounds great. I think I’m tired of Skizz’s stink overpowering the place. We really need to install some ventilation.”

“Hey!” 

And they laugh, bright and loud as Skizz pouts, checking his armpits. The glasses shake as Tango rattles the table with a smack, a cackle on his lips. Etho’s eyes twinkle with amusement.

Impulse’s focus drifts. Back to the present, away from the blood.

(Drip, drip.)

And yet.

(Rip, snrrk, clink.)

…The hunger prevails.  

[fountainpenguin]

I got a wonderful comment on "Chalaza" today about how strong my Bdubs dialogue and his inner monologues come across!! :)

He's my favorite to dialogue for in the whole Pixels Imperfect series, so here's a compilation of Bdubs Bits I love in various 'fics of mine:

Martyn is dead, but unfortunately, no one's had the chance to tell that to Martyn. Martyn's in a fishbowl. Well, like… Martyn's soul is in the fishbowl- his skin fell in the Void. Or maybe got vaporized? Not sure. He looks like glowing blue smoothie stuff, complete with weird sprinkle colors, but Bdubs is pretty sure Etho would strangle him if he tried putting Martyn in a cup. Can you get drunk on real souls like you can on raw binary code? Huh…

Nobody in New Star Station's ever seen nothing like this. Or if they have, they sure haven't said that to Bdubs. Etho said the guy's trying to fight a system overload - Martyn; Martyn's trying (Etho says) - but it sure is violent. Geez…

"Chalaza" - Chapter 1

"Scar," Bdubs is saying, and Bdubs has his full wingspan on display. Saliva's dribbling from one corner of his mouth. His eyes are lanterns washing the road, electric green like lamps made of limes. "I love you. Oh, of course I love you… but it's not a full moon. That's our feed!"

[...]

"The hour's mine," Bdubs says again, trembling where he crouches on his hands and feet. His tail smacks once against the floor, wings flaring up. "I'm the devs' perfect killing machine. Aren't you scared?"

One and a Half Birds - Chapter 15

"Why… Why are we eating worms? Are we that low on resources already? I thought we had cows. Why would you do that?"

"Protein." Then, probably since Impulse still looks miffed and is getting miffed-er by the second, he tosses in, "Oh, quit complaining… The wheat is fresh! I just- Like, I just barely made it on the crafting table not five minutes ago. It's only got worms because I just pulled it from the dirt. Not because it's gone gross. It's got nothing to do with that. I don't eat old worms."

"You don't know how old those worms were."

"Babies. It's a new series, Impulse."

Scar, from the distance, "You ate a baby!?"

"Hickory (You Dick)ory Dock"

“Did you get the cobwebs?”

“Oh! Forgot. It was that witch, poking around here. She got me turned around.” Bdubs flapped his hand, already trotting off to get his sword. The sword should be a great way to pull cobwebs off the ceiling, right? You can twist ‘em up like cotton candy. If baby spiders are a thing, they probably crunch real nice on every bite. He checked back only once. And Etho stood there, shivering above a puddle on the floor. “Hey. You should strip. You’re gonna freeze to death.”

“S’okay. Spawn’s not that far.”

“All right… It’s your funeral. And if you die, I’m not burying your body in drippy clothes. That’s how you get mold. That’s how you respawn as a drowned or something.”

"Do Fish People Dream of Magic Gloves?"

"Um…" There's context here. Probably. Impulse pulls back anyway, exhaling hard. "I never had a flock before I joined the New Star portal hub. I had Skizz."

"You didn't have a flock?" Bdubs leans across the bed, eyes shining with invasive curiosity now. The mattress squeaks and dips. When Impulse tightens his lips, Bdubs throws his arms to either side. "Oh, no way! I was there when Skizz brought you to the station! They called me in to check you out! You were spawned beneath the full moon like me, right? 'Course you were; it shows. Only phantom hybrid I ever met whose wingspan beat out mine. 'Never had a flock;' Judas priest… I don't believe that for a second." He slaps the lower part of Impulse's back, which jolts them both as they briefly drain half a heart. They tick up again. Bdubs falls back on the bed with a whump. "Impulse,��I was drooling over you and I wasn't even insecure about my status. You were captain material if ever I saw one."

"Like Newlyweds Do"

Getting Impulse into bed takes Herculean effort, and trying to cuddle him is a fight like you wouldn't believe. He's always so stubborn! For real, he acts like plopping his head down on actual pillows is an affront to nature and everything in it. And for what, huh? There's no way that makes him happy. Literally no way.

[...]

See, every relationship's gotta have that one guy who takes initiative. Otherwise, how are you gonna get anywhere? This is basic roleplay 101. He's the instigator; he'll break the ice. This is fine!

Aren't they supposed to be husbands in this game? Husbands should cuddle, probably. Bdubs pushes his shoulder again - shaking it, really - and whispers, "Hey… Are you still up?" in an attempt to get him to turn over.

[...]

"Shut up. Hey, come on. If you didn't want to roleplay married life with me, you wouldn't have agreed to be my husband. You're in love with me."

Impulse makes an excessively rude gesture over his shoulder with one hand, not turning over in the slightest. Bdubs sucks in a gasp, writhing up through the bed sheets, and shakes him back and forth again.

"Hey! You can't do that! What are you tryna say, huh?"

"You Can Sleep While I Drive"

Bdubs is the next to speak up, lifting his head. "Mom, we don't hunt in the Fox Dragon's territory. Scott's asked us not to leave the perimeter. So we don't."

"Your talents are wasted here, BdoubleO100."

"Not wasted." His hands are shaking, though. Martyn stretches out one foot, laying his ankle against Bdubs' own. I've got you, he says in the silence, and Bdubs relaxes his fingertips out from fists. He clears his throat. "I'm a proud captain. I hunt not only for my flock, but for anyone in New Star who can't. That's real noble."

"So it's about the sport?"

"It's about providing."

"Why is InTheLittleWood hungry?"

Another wave of silence crashes down around the table. Martyn's stare is on the numbers in his drinking glass. His hands are in his lap. Bdubs looks at Linda, then at Martyn. Then at Linda again. "Huh?"

Again: "Why is InTheLittleWood hungry?"

"Martyn's fine! He's got his own special hunting ground. He's fine."

"Mum's the Word"

"Why'd you come here in the middle of the night?" Bdubs asks, settling down on the bottom step. He folds his hands in his lap (in the wide, floppy hem of Impulse's shirt, which Etho is not looking at and certainly isn't jealous of). "Must be something big."

"Um." Etho didn't think he'd get this far. Maybe some part of him had still been operating on Yellow Etho instinct, because Yellow Etho wanders and bolts and flutters aimlessly around. He's grateful (maybe) that he opted not to put his chestplate on. He burrows his hands in the hem of his own shirt and kneads them together, much the way Bdubs is doing. "I just… need to talk. I'm having issues with my aggro. With Joel."

That gets Bdubs' attention. "Trouble in paradise? Oh, is this about the bite marks? I saw those. You know, I asked Joel at the pool party and he said you'd been hurting him just about every night. He seemed ready to kick you out. Take back his boat. Were those all from your aggro? He looked like he'd fallen in a pit of zombies!"

[...] "Um… I mean, I wouldn't say living with Joel is ever paradise… But I am having aggro problems. I can't… keep it down."

"I can go all night," Bdubs brags with a hand to his chest, and Impulse snorts on the landing above.

[... Etho] leaves down the hall to go clean. Bdubs follows him, leaving Impulse behind. As Etho starts scraping glass chunks together, Bdubs leans against the couch arm and shakes his head.

"I don't know why you get so worked up about it, Etho. Aggro's not gross. It's natural! We're all adults here; we've got needs! If Joel can't accept that, maybe he's not the right partner for you."

"I've been biting myself," Etho repeats, because Bdubs clearly got lost in the metaphor. Bdubs ignores him, tugging on the edge of his blindfold.

"Hey, there are plenty of salmon in the river. There are other husbands. I'll set you up. Grian and Scar are really going through it; do you like Scar?"

The glass makes a screeching sound as Etho scrapes it together with the broom. "Joel's not my husband." Etho doesn't know what relationship he and Joel are roleplaying. They're not roleplaying much of anything, which severely blurs the lines. Joel never did stop wearing Etho's shirt. He still does, and it's melded with the code of his current skin, and it's confusing and Etho never did ask. "He's my soulmate."

Bdubs shrugs, releasing the bandana. "If you're not comfortable… We could offer you a place to stay here. Impulse and I can put you up. You could join our polycule."

There's a shatter of glass in the kitchen. Followed by thumping palms on the counter, followed by an intake of breath. "Our. WHAT!?"

"Canadian Idiot"

The dogs. Oh, those stupid dogs. They snap at his heels as he tears through the pines as fast as his shoddy boots can take him. He lost one back in the river. He fell. Lost Impulse along the way- they're… they're separated now. Not in roleplay; not the marriage. The marriage is fine! Bdubs has the wedding oath clock on a gold chain around his neck, bouncing up and down against his chest with every flying step he takes. Impulse looked okay, though, like the 'maybe not drowning' kind of fine. He's not. Bdubs would feel it if he were drowning.

His crossbow bangs on every other tree trunk as he sprints across the snow. The dogs are freakin' everywhere. Is this all Pearl's been doing when they play? She never had a soulmate to cuddle up to, so she just kept breeding dogs? There's like a dozen of them, all with huge paws scooping the snow and flinging it behind them on every leap.

Gotta get outta the snow… Where's the- Where's this snowy forest end? I saw the drop-off just a second ago. The wolves prob'ly won't follow over the cliff. Bdubs has a water bucket. The dogs don't. And he'll let them fall. He will, maybe. He doesn't care- they're just stupid dogs. And he likes dogs, but these ones haven't been cuddly puppies in a long time. 

"Seeing Scarlet"

I don't need NOBODY'S social approval or permission. That's my husband. Still gets his tail wagging and everything, even if he doesn't show it. Gosh, isn't he a sweetie? He and Impulse don't always wear their rings, 'cuz it's not like that as often in the Between dimension now like it used to be, but it's… You know. It's still clocks and hugs and elbows in the chest, even if it's not all mwah-mwahs and low-roaming, backside-squeezing hands.

Well. Sometimes it is. I mean, why shouldn't it be? They both had fun. No one's mad at them for it. See, that's the lovely thing about Impulse- ain't he sweet? Bdubs can turn the roleplay on and off with him, and Impulse just goes along with everything. He's wonderful. It's a real shame there aren't more Impulses, because everyone deserves to hang out with him from time to time.

Bdubs tries to find a better place to stand where he's not getting pushed at and stepped on. Not that he can feel it, but it's the principle of the thing. Since he is one of the two shortest in their gang (though he's loath to admit it), maybe he needs a place near the front.

He pushes forward. Souls blur together, blue and overlapping, and the glowing doesn't help with the identity stuff like at all. He can pick out Tango (facing away from him) by the enormous white gash scarred down his right shoulder. Not pointing fingers, but that one's a Bdubs original. You're welcome for helping you look so cool, you're turning heads.

"The Man He Sets His Spawn With"

Impulse keeps breathing. His chest heaves, eyes unraveling Bdubs' entire code and piecing him together again. His gaze dips low, then lifts like a boat at sea. His fingers clench tighter around the sword hilt, which rattles like broken glass in his hand.

"… If I kill you, you just respawn… and I've broken the rules. I'll get in trouble. That's not what I want." Impulse recites it like he's explaining all of this to his first-year self. One hand claws through Bdubs' hair, feeling for… something? It pulls. He's silent. Bdubs keeps breathing too. Then Impulse dips the sword tip lower, against the bobbing spot of his throat. He's really leaning forward funny to get the angle. Maybe 'cuz he's a slime, he's sticky and won't fall. Maybe he's got perma-crouched benefits. Maybe perma-Swift Sneak. At least he's blocking most the rain. Then Impulse whispers, "I think this… isn't how I fix this. Maybe we can just… talk about what happened in 3rd Life? About the betrayal?"

Bdubs gawks up at him, bleeding horror out from every shake. "Can't you just kill me?"

Sparks dribble from Impulse's cheeks, mingled with lightning static and slime blobs and the rain. He's still clutching Bdubs' hair, the sword all too tight against his neck. "Just apologize for betraying me! We were Day 1 alliance in 3rd Life- You, me, and Cleo!"

"Yeah? And I was Cleo's dearly devoted husband back then, and you our 'secret girlfriend' who wanted to get under the armor of everybody on the server; what's your point, Littlefinger?" Bdubs jabs a finger up at him. "Do you want a Get Well Soon card or something? Maybe a care package? A subscription to the Mod of the Month club?"

Dog's Life - Chapter 19

Bdubs paces between them, pulling the throat of his mossy cloak over and over again. A classy gold clock bounces on his hip. "You… you can't do that! You outrank her! This is- Oh, this is gonna be big… This is gonna be the biggest thing people talk about for months. You're getting fed by someone you outrank… Oh, wait 'til BigB finds out about this. Heck, wait 'til the rest of the flock finds out! They're gonna be all over you!" He throws his hands in the air- "Is everybody breaking rules today?"

Aw, geez… Martyn bristles. Cleo shuffles out of the way. "I'm hungry." It's a statement, not a whine. Did he forget I needed food tonight?

Bdubs shoots him a look of pure disgust, his nose all squashed and lip hooked high. "So? Go hunt something. I hunted tonight, and I don't even have wings. Cleo too! It's not like it's hard."

"Bdubs-" Cleo cuts in, but neither looks at her. Martyn flaps out his wings, but Bdubs stays stubborn and glowering all the while.

"Are you gonna watch the eggs while I do that?"

Bdubs laughs. It's a cackle, edged with ribbons of the infamous phantom shriek. He throws back his head. "Freakin' no! I'm not putting in the work just so you get credit for it!"

Dog's Life - Chapter 21

And a bonus sneak peek of this jungle duo scene coming in Dog's Life Chapter 61 (Give or take):

“That’s okay. I’m proud of you for trying. Do you want more?”

Grian shakes his head, pushing his plate across the table. “I shouldn’t. I’m an omnivore; I can eat other things. Anivores eat first. Isn’t that proper?”

“You don’t have to eat it,” Bdubs tells him, pushing the plate back. “But phantoms, we say the souls of insects are for the birds. It’s your right as much as mine. All predators can eat the prey. It’s the abandoned things that get snapped up by phantomkind.”

“Yeah, but I don’t need it.”

“Does your hunger meter fill when you eat souls?”

“That’s not the point.”

Bdubs shrugs. He stabs his fork in another piece of soul, then brings it to his mouth. “More for me, then. But I’m serious, G… You should figure out what you want in life. Unlearn shame! Why deny yourself the things that make you happy?” He takes the soul, tines sliding past teeth, as Grian watches with interest from across the table, his head tilted to one side. Bdubs reaches out to take another piece, and Grian’s breathing gets a little stronger. By this point, Bdubs is standing just to lean, stretching over the table and taking scraps two or three pieces at a time with the stabbing trident tines. As he draws them to his mouth, fangs on display and saliva dripping, he meets Grian’s wide eyes again. So the trident stalls.

“You want it, baby?”

“… Yes.”

===

He is so ?!?? <3

[thecoolerliauditore]

in episode 6, Cleo repeatedly says pearl is not good at PVP. she is then surprised by pearl 2v1ing bdubs and impulse and winning. she then says Scott will murder pearl after her and Martyn die, once again putting down her skills. and when Scott puts down the TNT, Cleo says that's what they want. encouraging his suicide. she's VERY enthusiastic about his suicide, even though he cant hear her.

see this links arms very well with something I've been pondering very, very hard recently which is Cleo being the worst the worst ever I hate them I hate them so much pours lava on her pours lava on her pours lava

sorry. which is Cleo acting as an enabler for Scott's abusive and, more dominantly, self-destructive tendencies. It's a tricky thing to dissect because at least for me it's very easy to go down the route of making her shoulder the responsibility of Scott's behaviour which is unfair to Cleo cus Scott was always insane and I've read too much feminist theory to fault a woman for a man's actions without feeling at least a little bit of self-consciousness.

But that being said it is like. Very dear to my heart how much of an enabler Cleo is and how she seems floating on the edge of self-awareness at times to how she treats Scott. Thinking about the conversation she had with Martyn once again (sorry this is like the nineteenth time I've brought up this conversation but it really is a Major Character Moment to me for both Cleo and Martyn) where she straight up admits she's taking advantage of Scott as well as her hesitancy when Etho referred to Scott as "(her) Bdubs".

And she Is taking advantage of Scott who is more than willing to let her do it because it feeds his own narrative about himself being kind and selfless or whatever. Like imagine running into someone who is so desperate to be Good they would literally let you kill them and you got like 20 dollars if you did and you not only kill them but encourage their behaviour to the point where if you need a 20 real quick you just shoot them in the head like clockwork.

And Scott's self-destructive tendencies have only worsened with her encouragement. Third Life Scott was a bitch but his crimes were more in how he saw others than the lengths he went to prove a narrative about himself. This is maybe one of my more wrong opinions but I have it filed in my back of my brain that Scott's refusal to boogey-kill was the start of his self-destruction. This in of itself isn't necessarily self-destructive or even Bad (constantly having to bring up that Scott not only did it because he felt it was logical considering the circumstances but literally told everyone that was why he was doing it) but it starts a very slippery slope. The rest I'm sure we're all aware.

I don't want to say definitively that Cleo doesn't actually love or care for Scott because I think she does in her own perverse fucked up way but I don't think you'd farm someone for time with little to no hesitation without even a thought of "no, no you or your alliance could do more with this" if you truly did care for them as a human person. Hell I don't know if I'd even say definitively that Cleo Likes Scott as much as she likes what he provides her with, the way she acts with Ren, Etho, Bdubs and even Martyn and Bigb is night and day compared to how she acts with Scott.

That "I have everything you want" line haunts me at night I hope you know. I hope everyone knows.

And I'll be honest I haven't given much thought to how she treats Pearl so my view of their relationship is much more simplistic but she is a bitchhhhh holy fuck. I think she more or less projects a lot of her insecurities onto Pearl who she sees as better than her in the measurements that exist in her head and puts her down because she feels like she has the right to.

I'm sorry this got away from me. We need to Kill Zombie Cleo.

[bigb-enthusiast]

3L bigb is so aghhghfhfhh i do remember seeing someone say they wouldn’t recommend his pov to anyone cause it was just mining like yea. Yeah he did do that and yeah he was gone with the “important” session so hush and also consider you can DO stuff with him staying in the MINES. The isolation, the loneliness of the constant dark of being buried underground for your own materials to live that you’ll lose in the end. His interactions also are interesting, martyn Literally calls him a canary then through out the series he is in the mines. Yeah no one talks about it but i do!! His interactions are also so augh owie but augh awwg. Him being frightened by skizz but still telling skizz he’ll protect and shelter him in his home when skizz needs help. And skizz saying hed protect bigb with his life only for skizz to die next session, bigb unable to save him like he promised. Then the session bigb returns skizz is dead so hes also unable to save bigb like HE promised. Also him being forced into dogwarts?? And him being the LAST dogwarts?? HIM DYING BY ARROWS ALL 3 TIMES. HIM TRICKING BDUBS SCAR AND GRIAN INTO SAYING HIS FINAL WORDS BUT ITS REALLY HIM TRYING TO KILL GRIAN BEFORE HES SHOT AND KILLED BY BDUBS. HE KNEW HE WOULDNT WIN BUT HE DIDNT GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT. Then despite him screaming in his final moments he’s then silent. Quiet as ever as others cheer and boo and laugh and chuckle hes silent. Watching, watching the three stand then two stand then the one stand In LL bigb starts off isolated again but gets to talk to others, him and cleo later agreeing to team and then they live together, they gift eachother stuff and care. They team with lizzie then team with ren, bigb cares for cleo more than the other two by far. Even showing hed fight a redlife joel for them if joel tried to hurt them. But then he gets boogey, he doesnt want to hurt his allies he doesnt want them scared so he lies. But then by the end of the session he realizes he has to kill and he killed cleo but apologizing it all hes apologizing for it all and gets their stuff and puts it away and tries to defend himself from jimmy and martyn who are berating him for what he did unknowing of the full story. Later again cleo gets on red and blames and threatens bigb and bigb due to this refuses to sleep and also gets so scared he tries a new identity aka terry he discovers this doesnt work so he gives up that shtick and sees cleo burn fairy fort and he tries to be normal with this stuff, he fails and later its just him and ren after lizzie dies. Lizzie appears and tells bigb he was her downfall and kills him. Him noticing ren didnt even try to help. Bigb later dies again due to a tnt chest and is on red. He is with scar and apologizes and tries to kill ren but suddenly more greens appear and hes killed with an arrow by cleo, he dies and is silent once again watching as martyn and cleo celebrate his death and he ends off that episode there. DL he joins and says how he hopes cleo is his soulmate, he is happy despite what shes and hes done. He also says he hopes jimmys his soulmate. In the mountain he is mining in cleo appears and they try for soulbound and discover its not eachother. Bigb mines more before he decides to look for his soulmate, he asks the frogs to lead him to where they lead him to a cave with joel, scott, etho, and cleo. He tries to see if cleo is his soulmate again and is sad once again tries with scott then tries with ren and discovers it is after miscommunication happens. The two team and build box! Bigb also shows he cares for pearl deeply but is scared of her also with the deaths and all. He slowly becomes more sad seeing ren talk with martyn more and believes ren will abandon him for martyn, thats why he agrees to the secret soulmate thing. He just believes ren would leave him. This also fails as grian leaves him too and ren finds out and kicks him out of box. But bigb dies again and bigb wants revenge but before that he talks with ren but immediately ren goes to martyn as he tries to explain everything When ren returns he explains the revenge

[single-malt-scotch]

of course i have things to say about lim life and bdubs. you know its funny and great- of course i would love his pov. but i still feel satisfied by what i saw and i dont feel like i do. there is something very different about witnessing a player this way, something we really havent had at all. and of everyone its bdubs. the guy who is associated with time and the guy who acts out so well to the narrative in front of him. and we dont lose anything- bdubs is still bdubs.

after double life we see him team up with people he hadnt from LL-DL. something fresh. together they create a family themed around time and at the center of the map they make a clock tower. they watch every death that spawns for entertainment. regardless of his need to stay with the clockers he continuously shows attachment to TIES/etho (mostly etho). it may be in jest but the clockers point out numerous times that this behavior doesnt shock them, that of course hes like that with etho and of course its muddying his alliances. and lets not forget the grudges held by most members of TIES (eventually Skizz on the list for a bit due to killing him), a neat detail in this funny little situation.

and then for a good whole episode it does make a problem- in the sense it confuses him and everyone else as to where he lies. he later defends the hell out of etho even from the meta jokes of being washed up, later in game of putting himself in front of a group that wants to kill etho, again in offer his life that etho doesnt take. we dont get to hear his thought process, whatever commentary he may be giving about why he really wanted to be with etho again and why he struggled to make it happen. we see it through everyone else. cleo, who is amused at bdubs' very typical behavior but evermore trying to convince him to not go wot etho. etho, who gets glimpses at bdubs from afar and a few moments where they meet in private, having a connection only two close friends could have alone. the rest of TIES who takes him in in brief moments but never hearing more. overall in the end hes around and hes trying to do good, hes "trying his heart out", theres attempts being made but we can see them slip and falter from things outside of his control. the timing is never right.

but no im not done actually. his attempt to help isnt just tied to etho. bdubs has shown himself to be caring and kind, and putting himself out there in order to help others. i think thats where he fell apart- he wanted to keep it all good between clockers and TIES, despite the family dynamic putting in stone that it wasnt possible. as a whole he wanted to be in the middle and this extended to many other interactions. there wasnt a single person that bdubs was actively against this season (yes including skizz- their dynamic was on the same level after he first fight so it became mutual imo), no long building hate, and the clockers were welcoming to others too in their alliances but bdubs did still stand out as the clockers denied TIES and he held on to them. further in we get to the moments where bdubs then offers himself up. its like there was a realization on the game in episode 7, they were far enough in that he thought maybe he could help just before it got worse. he went up to jimmy who's known to die first (yet someone he hardly interacted with) and desperately and repeatedly asks to be killed and of course jimmy takes it, hes only a few minutes away. and then of course he tries again with etho, twice, including helping a fight and etho doesnt take it. you can hear bdubs in the background still laying out what etho could do.

as the season reaches its end let me wind back a bit to deaths in general. bdubs earliest death was certainly an interesting one, one fight he was so confident about and completely failed at, missing numerous hits. and this isnt a surprise to me. bdubs was actually pretty.... well he lacked a lot of kills this season. and not knowing his time for sure through the episodes made this all more interesting to watch, you know? he never seemed like he was really seeking it out. even in a stream before session 8 scar and grian both say they have no clue what bdubs' time is. im sure someone added this up but for everyone else and the average watcher, we see him fumbling or giving his time all while not thinking at all about what he had left just before the end. and then hes the first one to go out in episode 8. its not that it wasnt expected, but his time being in the dark for so much of the series leaves you not thinking about it. it didnt seem like he died that much, it didnt seem like his timer was that now- you wouldnt know for sure unless you saw his pov. most of all, we never really hear him asking for time? there arent any key moments with him saying he really needs to kill. hes fighting, hes helping, but theres barely a hint of desperation to hunt people down- he just stayed in the place he usually was, around the tower, hoping to lend a hand.

and death again. how does his series end? unexpected, completely unknowing to what would kill him. impulse had killed him once earlier and tried to a second time and the cute thing about it? they were laughing the whole time. this could be the moment where youd say impulse got the kill he wanted. and then we get to bdubs' perma death and its impulse again and he never saw it coming- out of the game first that session and left to spectate everyone until the next start to die. quietly until he gets in the chat.. not unlike LL, but not for nearly as long.

and of course, so much of his time is spent in around the clock tower. this led to all of the clocker's demise, with ow dangerous of a location it became, and its all the more in character for each of them to go out there. theres of course something poetic to take from that.

so what does bdubs give us this season? why does it still mean something despite his pov? well it can mean whatever you want it to mean, it can add up to whatever narrative you took from limited life. i dont know if we will know for sure why bdubs didnt upload outside of what he loosely stated on stream. but forever hes someone i look to for an act that has so much to take from it. intentional or not hes putting something in i never see from anyone else. there doesnt need to even be an artistic reason for his choice to not post but his choices always add up to something and i do think he goes out there knowing full well what he can do. he played a type only he can play, because its inherently just who he is and he will never stop being him and that is so great. ill never doubt his decision no matter if it was purposeful, or personal. bdubs is still bdubs and that is all that i wanted.

[kaidanalenko]

Bdubs Etho has no loyalty to you he's just immediately teamed up with the next guy that's come along Yeah hes a survivor man thats what he does ... He loves me If he loves you why didnt he give you a life He cares. He does

we put ourselves to the ultimate test. the first thing i wanted to do was, team up with me. that's right! we're the best. aha! the south lands, made some towers. we're here in the fairy fort collecting flowers! gatekeep, gaslight, and girlboss here. magical mountain's the BEST idea. please watch out, how shall i say, something called a boogie man can be here today. we have to be on full guard for this episode. careful of your valuables they may explode.

and boom! we're back. (oh dear) red names have to attack. I NEED BLOOD. another episode of chaos in a box. how bout this, i trade you magic blocks? and boom! It's time! burn it to the ground! (this is fine) (bleh) that's a wither. how did we survive? right that's it, i'm on my last life.

i'm so sorry... i knew i could never have trust you. aw. you could have trusted me! there's a way we can still be friends. yeah? you can join me.

absolute carnage in the shadow lands. so many red names. this is intense. i could get making some TNT. do me a favor, die for me. wha-ha-ha, it was an accident! get back here! no, my friend! i have loyalty and a taste for blood. we're outnumbered, this is the end! so i left this world just as i had entered it, confused. you could have gone for me and you chose not to. i would lose! dude everybody's dying, i need some good news! bubblevate initiate. i'm gonna die! they all betrayed me, and it made me cry. i killed big b! (that was pretty much my goal.) not like this! grian! joel! no... they got me...

and boom! we're back. (oh dear) red names have to attack. I NEED BLOOD. another episode of chaos in a box. how bout this, i trade you magic blocks? and boom! It's time! burn it to the ground! (this is fine) (bleh) that's a wither. how did we survive? right that's it, i'm on my last life.

well it was a good show.

what's gonna happen now? there's literally four people left on the server. i don't want to kill anybody. i have spent all season being honorable. that's not going to stop now. everybody ready?

3. 2. 1.

[fruitwanderer]

I do agree w you for the most part, character bdubs isn’t a cheater. I feel like it’s more like there are two levels of people in Bdubs’ mind: Etho and Everyone Else. During double life I honestly wondered if Bdubs was potentially angling for some kind of betrayal and then teamup with Etho again, but it never came to fruition. I mean, Bdubs did (I think) specifically say that he wanted Etho as an ally. I understand why ppl write Bdubs as a cheater, but looking at his in-character loyalty, I agree, it mostly doesn’t line up w how he acts.

I wanna argue a little and say there are three: Etho, the people he's team with (so Cleo in 3rd Life, Impulse in DL, ect), and everyone else. He sort of decides who he's loyal to, who he'll die for, each season and usually sticks to it. The only one who hasn't was Tango in LL who he sort of saw as a worthy death?

Also I both would and would not be surprised if Bdubs planned to eventually betray Impulse. Like okay you know Renchanting? Martyn's plan for that? If I remember, or maybe I'm making it up, Impulse had a similar-ish plan for Double Life?

They'd be the type to make it to the end together, but Impulse would be the slightest bit more likely to turn on Bdubs. Maybe Bdubs would, but Impulse absolutely would.

Also thinking about Bdubs and his loyalty, I don't think he's ever tried to kill his 'main partner'? He acted as Cleo's guard dog, only really wanted to kill Etho to have another red (but I think he refused to do it himself? Memory on LL is extremely blurry so this might all be wrong), and generally was a good partner to Impulse. Only one out of those three did he have motivations to kill within the same season they teamed.

Also I want to state: Team BEST doesn't count. Idk if I can explain this easily, but they weren't a solid, sturdy team. They were more like two teams tied together, and Tango wasn't His Guy for that season. Tango wasn't even close being His Guy in 3rs Life until he proclaimed his loyalty to Bdubs towards the end. Saying because I rotated BEST to hard for a second and had a realization pfff

[desolationcleo]

ok i think i've got it

ok so picture. you're me. it's april. this is your first time ever watching a life series as it airs.

in the latest episode, jimmy lost large amounts of time and was left with the least out of anyone. he ends his video by saying "i'm afraid that the curse will continue and i will be the first one out."

you know there's barely any time left of speculation. the recording session for episode 7 already happened and you know damn well jimmy did not survive. you have been listening to canary in a coal mine (and also this) nonstop this whole week.

it's the night before the moment of truth. you are scared to go to sleep because going to sleep means tomorrow will start and you're terrified of that. you know there will be permadeaths. you're tired whether you want to be or not. you're afraid to sleep.

you wake up the next day with your heart racing. you almost immediately start feeling like you're going to explode into static. you can barely feel your hands.

you spend the entire day reloading jimmy's channel, avoiding tumblr like the plague so as to avoid spoilers. you wait hours for jimmy to upload. it's making you go insane, the waiting, the avoiding, the not knowing, the buildup to the moment of truth.

finally, he uploads, and the first thing you see is that the video is titled "the curse continues".

you have the answer, now.

i'm not gonna lie, i immediately screamed "YES" out loud.

You click so fast that you don't register the thumbnail. You see it, yes, you see jimmy on skynet with a tnt minecart, but you don't process it. you saw that thumbnail for maybe 2/3 of a second.

you only know one thing about this episode: jimmy dies at the end.

you don't know how.

you're so absorbed in watching that you don't look at how much time is left in the video, and why would you? it never even occurs to you. throughout the entire thing you don't know how close you are to the end.

etho, the boogeyman, kills jimmy. jimmy only loses half the time he should have. jimmy has barely any time left, he'll die before he makes it to scott- bdubs begs jimmy to kill him. jimmy gains time.

jimmy dies in this episode. you know this. he should already be dead. he's losing less time than he should and he's being given time by multiple other players. you know damn well that he does not survive. you know how this ends, but not how it happens. you know he will die again, and he will die first. you do not know where in the video you are, or how long is left until he dies, or how he dies. it could be any second now.

until earlier it was a matter of if. to the characters, it still is. but you've seen the title and you know it's a matter of when and how.

and that was just. such a fucking experience. watching them do everything in their power to stop the curse they all know he has, many of them believing he'll be able to break it. the characters don't know that this video is titled after the curse remaining unbroken. the things i experienced watching that. holy fuck.

tbh i think jimmy titling his video "the curse continues" thereby giving away the ending to anyone who knows anything about the series actually enhanced the experience a lot but maybe that's the went-out-of-my-way-to-watch-his-pov-first-that-day talking

[sharklights]

The night after the ranch burns down is quiet. Jimmy curls up into his soulmate's warm arms, trying to stave off the cold from the draft in the still-smoldering house. Neither of them are asleep, and neither are bothering to pretend that they are.

"Are you alright?" is the question Jimmy asks, softly, but deafening in the silence.

"I will be," Tango replies, and there's no heat in his voice when he does. It's just defeat. There is none of the violent, desperate anger that seemed to take over him only hours before. Jimmy hadn't known what to do, frantically trying to thank the helpers and calm Tango down at the same time. Tango had shouted to Etho first, which didn't sting (didn’t sting like seeing Scott make cottages with Cleo, didn’t sting like Grian and Martyn forbidding the server to reply to his horn, didn’t sting like loneliness at all), and Etho had laughed. Egged him on, even, and Joel joined in immediately. Tango reveled in it, or he seemed to, but his red eyes looked panicked as Jimmy stared into them, his pupils shrunk down to pinpricks and darting around, looking for a way to escape.

Jimmy had recognized the look. He'd seen it on his own face enough, after he did something stupid and had to worm his way out of consequences, or when he watched someone he cared about die by his hand, directly or otherwise. He tried calming Tango down with words first, and he felt terror that wasn't his flatten into a simmer of panic. He held Tango's arm tightly, squeezing his wrist in an attempt to ground him, and he felt the panic die down to a delirious exhaustion. He blew his horn, unique to the ranch, right in Tango's face, and when Tango pulled his own horn out to reply, it was with enough intention that Jimmy almost went limp with relief.

Jimmy repositions himself so that he can look at Tango's eyes. They look tired. Jimmy knows he looks the same. "What happened back there?" he asks.

"I think it was... mob instincts, maybe. I don't know. It's only happened once before, back in last life, when Bdubs killed me. I sort of... lost control of myself, I guess. And it happened again when Scar burned down the ranch. Stupid, I know," Tango laughs. He sounds embarrassed to admit it.

"Is that why you called out to Etho?" Jimmy asks.

Tango nods, rustling the sheets near his flaming head. The flames never burn anything unless Tango wants them to. They'd been burning blue-hot that afternoon.

"Well, I don't blame you. I'm not an expert or anything, but I feel like you were basically having a panic attack, right?" Jimmy says. Tango nods again.

"I'll try to remember that. I know how to bring you back now, at least. If that had happened in combat, or if we'd been red at the time, I don't know what would have happened," Jimmy elaborates.

"Sorry," Tango mumbles, like he's ready to fall asleep. "It's sort of annoying to deal with."

"Let's call it even. I do have a death curse, after all," Jimmy quips, coaxing a rumbly laugh from his soulmate. If he didn't know better, he'd almost call it a purr.

"'Night, Canary," Tango murmurs.

"Goodnight, Coal Mine," Jimmy replies.

And once again, the night is quiet.

[bellshazes]

Here is your excuse to ramble more about clethubs, I think this sort of analysis is really cool

the similarity of etho and cleo's approach to the life series is that they both will say either out loud or thru their actions, "I'm going to make sure you get what you deserve."

for cleo, this is her sense of justice leading her to the iconic "do me a favor and die for me" moment; she's loyal until she's betrayed, and then everything is on the table. she will treat you exactly as fairly as you treat her, which is why scott and her teaming up twice in a row makes sense, since Scott's win in LL is tied to his unwillingness to betray anyone and going red because of not killing as boogeyman. it also means that bdubs, who she didn't know especially closely before 3L, gets particular indulgences from her when he asks her to pretend she found the enchanter and tells him no one will believe her because she's also red but cuts instantly after that to her doing it. in DL she starts lying for fun with the lie meter bit after chastising bdubs for lying to her when she has never lied to him. she lies to him after! come season 4 (manifesting) I don't expect her to be sentimental about him much.

etho's whole bit in frightening exploit tactics is the same wording but emphasized differently. he fakes being boogey to extort people and fails at it miserably, but he is primarily interested in engineering situations in which people become deserving of retaliation, something cleo doesn't seek out but takes advantage of when it happens. His fishing rod kill on scar is the most brutally brilliant example of this - seeing an opportunity so good that even scar says he can't quite be mad about dying to it! But he doesn't really escape scar's single-minded insistence on the contracts bc scar has never been interested in fairness and etho is always interested in technicalities.

this contrast is compelling on its own. But bdubs brings them together when cleo tries to get recompense for etho looting her corpse while she's doing a favor for her buddy who said etho was kicking him out even though etho (correctly) insists he never was, and it's bdubs who brings them together when cleo consoles etho when bdubs dies and trusts him because bdubs did.

bdubs is not interested in people getting what they deserve. Bdubs is interested in people getting what he can give them, like a crastle to keep them safe, or interesting recklessness to play off of if he can't build a fortress, or a commitment to a bit whether it's advantageous or not (homewrecking). he is selfish and selfless, he will take lives from tango in LL and lie to cleo and everybody in DL and betray impulse of the day 1 crew in 3L when it suits him because he has one priority and that's his partner surviving him and I guess like being alive long enough to torment etho Jesus christ he's sick in the head for that one.

together the three of them when they align enable each other's most interesting and complex traits. you can see it in the way etho is like the only one who believes bdubs homewrecking and trusts cleo even while she says etho is the weakest link to attack alongside bdubs, because now unallied she has no qualms about using her knowledge of them to her advantage, all while bdubs quest to homewreck driven literally because quote unquote I want etho causes her to treat him no longer Iike home as he'd described her and she'd treated etho by transitive property in LL but some other player.

anti-sentimental sentimentalists of different flavors, who are in turn fiercely loyal and just and ruthless and indifferent. they would not I think win as a team of three. but a guy who wants to go out in a blaze of glory and a person who's always down for arson and just desserts and a guy who looks for reasons to fall on swords.... man. man. it gets to me

[eyelessfog]

Looking back on it now, it was stupid. The trust between parasite and human? It was built out of a curiosity that they never should have let themselves have.

It started in that little group - the lot of them talking and laughing and yelling at Martyn because he scared them, dude! Grian was giddy with the terror of it all. Who would be scared of a creeper's hiss when Martyn had just replicated it in front of them? Who would expect this one to be real? So he lured a creeper in - slowly, slowly-

And then it exploded in front of his eyes, and Scar did with it, and Grian screamed.

Scar is on the floor, half of his innards just... out in the open, and all of it looking so strange and-

Grian coughs, something choking in his lungs. There's something in his lungs, and it seems to be in everyone else's lungs too, because they're all wheezing for air, and Grian's eyes are watering.

But then someone groans, and whatever that was doesn't feel so suffocating anymore, and Grian opens his eyes.

Scar is sitting there, wrinkling his nose, seeming to just... radiate a yellow cloud of something.

"Hey guys," Scar says, looking them over with strange, strange, yellow eyes. "Um. How's it going?"

And everything goes into uproar after that. Between the yelling and the checking Scar over and apologizing and the gagging at his wound (which is still fresh and there and half scabbed over with what can't be dried blood, because it wasn't there a minute ago, nor is it red), Grian doesn't really realize what he's getting into.

They should have stopped it there. It was a hardcore world. He wasn't supposed to come back. He wasn't supposed to come back wrong like that.

Grian hears - doesn't see - how Skizz dies, later that week. He and Scar are a bit busy, you know? They have a desert to monopolize. It happens.

Bdubs breaks his legs and deals with a phantom's bite in his bicep, but while she's talking about it, Cleo gives Bdubs a strange little look and says something about the cloud of yellow that surrounded him, and how he doesn't have a wound in his bicep anymore. She looks Grian in the eye, and she means something by it. She means something by it, and he isn't sure what.

He makes a face at her, and she looks away, brows furrowed. She doesn't seem to know what she means either.

Honestly. It was really stupid. How could they have not realized something was wrong? How could they have believed this gift of life wouldn't take something in return?

Scar died a second time, then. Didn't see the ravine in the desert and fell right off the edge of the cliff.

Grian stared into the ravine, screamed, and then choked on a gasp when something red pulsed under Scar's veins, and then something grey bubbled over his skin.

When Scar got out of the ravine, he offered flowers.

(Later, when Grian considers this, he remembers something else in those flowers, something fungal. He likes to think that this is why he acted the way he did.)

He makes a trap. Feels kinship in the yellows, and more of it in Scar, and he wants them all to be on red, just like Scar is. So he rigs the explosions, and he waits.

Three people die, and he feels the laughter like something in his sinuses. He could die. He could live.

He should have known.

Timmy's red. Skizz too. Ren dies on purpose not long after, and then Joel's red, and so is Bdubs and Etho and-

when Timmy dies, it's a fire arrow through the throat. He doesn't die immediately. They all hear him scream, shrill and wrong and attention grabbing, and every head turns, friend or foe.

When he falls, Scar says nothing was wrong. Not outwardly at least. Tim's body is just as grey as Scar's is, so how? How is this worse?

Cleo dies the same way - flame arrow.

Suddenly flame arrows become a lot more dangerous. A lot more valuable too.

Grian kills Skizz himself- this whole flame thing really is killing them off. It's interesting. It's terrifying.

He was already infected by then - of course he didn't like the magic fire.

Etho burns, Tango burns, Ren burns, Martyn.

Impulse wasn't blooming, so Scar helped Bdubs do what's right with the help of a clock - Bdubs liked it, before he was infected. He'd be obsessed with it now. BigB wasn't blooming either - Bdubs didn't slice him open, exactly, but the wound was big. Grian caught a glimpse of his innards.

Or, more accurately, the lack of them. Just what Grian knew to be fungi, clinging to his insides.

Then Scar killed Grian, and everything after that came in shards.

It's still him, obviously. His movements, his fists and his anguish. But there's a disconnect. Like if he was limp, but his body was moving anyway.

Like there was a parasite, killing him slowly.

In the cactus ring, Grian wins. Scar has lost - but hasn't died, because they both know the only way for them to actually die is by fire.

/"How long has he been dead?" Grian asks, curious, holding the flame arrow above Scar's chest.

Scar laughs, no humor in the sound.

"I've been dead since day one," he says. "But you're still alive."

The creeper. The cloud. The coughing, the wheezing, the tears.

It's Grian's fault, he realizes.

He brings the arrow down.

oh fuckkiiin. parasite au for life series instead of hermitcraft where its like lifeline but not the same because im changing a bunch of stuff but its Similar. anyway the parasites possess reds & thats how the game works. god. hello. hello. they're all playing a hardcore world together and then there's parasites and then it becomes 3rd life. please. like. do you get it. it wasnt supposed to be like this it wasn't supposed to be a death game. until it was

[magicalmanhattanproject]

You brought this on yourself @quaranmine​

Etho didn’t understand why everyone else seemed so... caught up, he supposes, in Grian’s first little death game. Sure, dying hurts but you can always respawn in another server. And it’s not like he had time to build anything that he would be too broken up about losing. He and Cleo had bonded over it, actually, in the early days of the new season. They came out of the game hardly touched by it at all. 

He did miss the Red Army, missed his own wool castle, but he’d never woken up screaming from nightmares the way Keralis had confided to him that his roommates did. It was just a game. It shouldn't hurt. 

And then, the nightmares had faded. Impulse stopped flinching around Bdubs. Scar and Grian stayed away from each other, working on their own projects, for multiple hours. Ren’s accent went back to normal. All the roller coaster of adrenaline and fear and wild animal panic had settled into something that felt only like a thrill. 

And then, the quiet normalcy of the Hermitcraft life became mundane. And from there, it became boring. And then it was only a matter of time until everyone else agreed with Grian, Cleo, and Etho that it would be a good idea for another round. 

Contrary to popular belief (to what everyone on that server except Bdubs had believed), Etho is, in fact, fallible. He doesn’t get things right all the time. He messes up. He makes mistakes. His redstone doesn’t work the first time, his build palettes don’t come together they way they had in his head, he sends his Bdubs off to die... 

He and Bdubs have never exactly talked about their relationship. They’re not formally married, but. Still. Bdubs is Etho’s. They’ve never had to say that part. That’s just how things work. 

People say there’s only two things in life that are certain: death and taxes. Etho has never had much of a problem evading either. He forgets, sometimes, how easily they can creep up on other people. How death can touch even what should be his. 

People have also told Etho that he needs to stop saying other people are his. He’s never understood why. Bdubs is his friend. Bdubs is his partner. Bdubs is his husband. Bdubs is his. 

And then Bdubs wasn’t anything at all. Because he was dead. Because he ran out of lives. 

Because Etho hesitated to give him one. 

Why had he hesitated? Why had he even given Bdubs a condition at all? Why not just give it freely the way he’d given Scar’s and Tango’s away. 

Etho already knows why. It’s because he takes care of what’s his. He doesn’t let go easily. The lives were his too. It feels like a hollow excuse. 

Etho knows that if he’s put in the same situation again, he’ll make the same choice. He doesn’t know how he feels about that. But he knows how to make sure he never has to ask himself that question again. 

.

He goes to Jevin first. Before Iskall, his base bro. Before Cleo, the other one with only the vaguest understanding of death. Before even his own Bdubs. Etho goes to Jevin. And Jevin is kind and understanding and perfectly willing to part with three stacks of wither skeleton skulls at a reasonable bulk discount. 

So Etho takes the skulls and an ender chest and treks out thousands and thousands of blocks away from spawn, far enough away that he won’t disturb anyone else. 

He approaches the problem slowly. Methodically. The same way he approaches redstone or building. Just tweaking things here and there until they work. The first wither, he kills in full diamond gear with his best sword. The second wither, he doesn’t wear the helmet. 

The sixteenth he manages to kill in iron armor. Then he has a bad streak. The next wither he kills without dying himself at least once is number thirty. 

It’s not until a familiar, rotted hand closes over his as he’s shaping the soul sand for number forty seven that he realizes how much he hurts. 

Cleo pulls his hands silently away from the mound of soul sand, tucks the skulls into her own inventory. Helps him settle on his knees when he finally crumples. He’s not even wearing armor any more. He killed number forty without armor and he’s been trying to repeat that feat since. Once he can do that consistently, he’ll start weaning off the potions. He’ll have to get more skulls, most likely. 

“You know he’s not mad at you,” Cleo says. 

“We’ve never agreed on anything.” Etho’s vision is blurring. Both eyes, so it can’t be tears. At least, not only tears. He’ll have to respawn soon anyway. “You know, I killed a wither from horseback once. In my single player world.” 

“Yeah? Is that right? And I’ll bet you did it blindfolded with one hand tied behind your back too.” 

Etho nods. His head spins. Cleo helps him lean backwards. The stone is littered with craters all around him, but he’s found a small patch that managed to remain untouched. 

“He’s always so...” He trails off.

“So Bdubs,” Cleo agrees. “And we wouldn't have him any other way. No matter how hard we try.” 

“He tried to convince me to go red with him.”

“It is a lot of fun.” 

“It’s dangerous though,” Etho argues. “He's a fragile little flower. Gets into accidents too easily. You know he needs someone to watch out for him.” Etho knew too. Etho knew too.

“He would rip your throat out with his teeth and you know it.” 

“I gave him a clock though,” Etho insists. A clock to spare his own life, but not the life that would have spared Bdubs. “He likes clocks a lot. If you give him a clock, he’ll love you forever.” 

Maybe that’s why Etho had done it. He already knew it was too late in the game to be giving lives away. Maybe he’d needed to give Bdubs a reason not to take the life that Etho would refuse to give. Maybe he’d known Bdubs would need a reason not to hate him. 

“Did I betray him?” He speaks without thinking. Rare, for him. If anything, he’s usually overly methodical. Hesitating in crucial moments. 

“You’ll have to talk to him about that."

It’s not an answer. It’s not a solution. But Etho knows he doesn’t have the courage to find out of Bdubs is still his, so it’s the best he’s gonna get. 

[stargod]

Ok ok im tired of seeing every mention of bigbs betrayal being all the same takes over and over about either cleo and/or that he could have asked, so here are some other thoughts:

- the point of boogeyman, and technically the game at large, is to get people to trust u so theyre less of a threat. Technically bigb did exactly what the role was intended for, he basically just played the long con. The fact that he caught feelings cause he didnt Realize he was playing a long con just makes it that much juicier

- also how many people can say they Actually gained Cleo's trust? Bdubs. And MAYBE tango. And even then was it her trust they got or just her affection? Technically i think that makes bigb one of the best boogeymen so far.

- After all what better way to gain someones trust than to genuinely deserve it. Up. Till. The very. Last. Moment. (Not great for cleo's future trust endeavors, but that kind of works seeing as thats the one thing she doesn't need anymore...) (also another great foil moment to ren, who also gains trust thru actually deserving it- imo)

- consider why the fairies ultimately decided to stick with him. Theyve all been boogeymen. They Know the itch. They kno, even tho they Started by trying to kill outside the alliance, if push came to shove, EXACTLY how it did for bigb (he didn't immediately decide to kill in-ranks, he struggled the whole episode to find Anyone), they wouldve done anything as well.

- yes, if he'd told them, if he'd ASKED for help, push might Not have come to shove for bigb, but consider why he didnt. He was Terrified. He isnt like Lizzie, he specifically mentioned he doesnt kno how to build traps and there were several moments he Could have pvped that Could have failed. And he's not ren either. He doesnt have the leverage ren has, he doesnt have the repor that would help him trust others to Trust him. And hes not cleo, shes never been the boogeyman, she has no idea what she'd do (or wouldve done) let alone anyone else knowing.

- remember bigb telling etho he wouldnt kill anyone? That he thought maybe he'd just go to red? He almost did. Do you think he thought of that in those final moments? Why do you think he changed his mind? Maybe being boogeyman made him realize how impossible winning on red might be for him. Maybe he realized he'd rather take the risk losing a friend on green than not having the option of friends on red...

- And can we talk about his main ally being cleo? Cleo who, even when she had absolutely 0 reasons not to trust ren, refused to trust him. Shes willing to drop people. Shes willing to drop Anyone. Even when she Swore she would Die for tango and bdubs, she said it because she Believed they might ask. Because when the name of the game is last life, the only person you can Trust is yourself.

- I do believe that, in the last 5 minutes, if bigb had told her, cleo would have let him kill her. But if he'd asked for their help from the start the way ren did? If he'd told her on that ladder, or on the bridge, or maybe even standing over the pond having listened to them all jump aboard to help ren. I dont think it would have been the same.

- And maybe, maybe bigb didnt want to ask. Maybe in spite of the curse, in spite of every instinct to survive. Bigb might hoped, believed even, that he might fail to kill Cleo.

- Lizzie didnt think to disavow bigb. I personally think it just genuinely didnt occur to her, because real time rping and what have u. But she could have condemned bigb. It wouldve made sense. Cleo was angry that she was betrayed, if Lizzie had simply said i am also angry you got betrayed (and she seemed like she honestly was) if she had said why would i want someone i kno will betray their closest allies on my team (and why would she) she might have won cleo back, and cleo wouldn't have gone over to scott and pearl's and she wouldnt have gone red...

- martyn trying to exile bigb from the fairies without being a part of them

- the way martyn is trying to use ren to control the fairies, but he crossed the line. He's never been boogeyman, he didnt think ren would side with a traitor, maybe he should wonder just how much he Does kno about ren. Just how much power he really has.. (also, just, ren being the one to stick up for bigb And against martyn one of the people actually like the most 🥺🥺) (also martyn overstepping- over estimating what he can get away with >:3 get lost stinky boy!!)

-the shadow fairies are now entirely composed of people who have been afflicted by the curse

- not only did the only person to not experience the curse end up being the one to abandon ship now shes a red name

- (listen, writing isnt my strong suit, but i feel like red names v boogeymen make for an interesting dichotomy, like red names are almost more "natural" and harder to come back from, where the boogeyman is practically a virus and people who have it are still green names, they still have the chance to "remove" the curse and being red is still the most terrifying threat)

- mix that with cleo's general self-riteousness (affectionate)- "i have the RIGHT to kill, now, youre all just TRAITORS"

- i think cleo pointing out to ren that she knew if push came to shove ren wouldve betrayed her or bigb was really important to ren sticking up for bigb afterward

- yes theyre perfect foils for what happened- the difference between being transparent with ur allies and having help v not and ending up being Forced to betray.

- But Cleo Was right and ren Does grant that if skizz hadnt worked he wouldve been short on time and even Lizzie may have requested he kill one of their allies rather than lose her guard dog

- even tho bigb was in 3rd life he was forced to make way less difficult decisions, mostly cause he was just less confrontational, he has less experience with that that than ren, he was SCARED

- he was Scared his allies didnt care enough about him to help. He was scared he had the one ally on the server most likely to drop him for even being remotely a threat. He was Scared that he didnt have what it took to pvp or trap or beguile!

- and if u just take even a moment to consider "why DIDN'T he tell anyone after they spent literally the whole episode Helping ren", u realise the answer couldve very well been.. "well, im not ren" maybe he felt like more of an outsider than ren, more expendable.

-bigb cast himself out of the alliance before they ever had the chance to. By staying on the outside, he never had to know if they would turn their backs on him. And the fact that they decided to stick with him after it all, when he thought they might really cast him out. Looked inside themselves and realized that bigb was Not an outsider- Not a Betrayer- that he was in fact, just like them- scared and afflicted and feeling completely alone. I think this could make their alliance way stronger than the others, and possibly even make ren more resilient to martyns whispers (although evidence points to no on that one)

- i do think, tho, bigb needs to find something more substantial to tie himself to them fast though. "We have all had to deal with the fear of betraying our friends now" is not exactly the most substantial post to tie your bonds to. But i think just making that idea stronger by Being more transparent moving forward could do the trick. Making it less "we all have almost betrayed our friends" and making it "we are not the curse that made us do that" maybe? Might could help? And by being honest- not vulnerable but honest- moving forward could have that desired effect, exactly...